Talk to Me, Dirty

Written by @zillennial.byjazmine

What is Dirty talk?

I still remember my first time trying to talk dirty. It was so embarrassing that I had no idea what to say or how to say it, and this was with my partner of 2 years already. My partner has been asking me to engage in dirty talk, and I was so down at first, but when I started, I was like, wait, hold on, is this even turning him on? Personally, I have always been the foreplay type of girl. You know, the teasing touches throughout the day to set the mood, so I did my research, and by research, I mean I asked my friends what dirty talk they use and, from their experience, what words get their partner going. Some of the dirty talk (that I did, in fact, start using during sex) was calling their male partner ‘Daddy.’ Although I struggle with this topic, I like hearing dirty talk from my partner, more on the praise side, like ‘You look so hot’ or the “Oh yea, you like that’ type of sayings. Here are some examples of dirty talk to help you not be as lost as I was. Remember, Dirty talk can be individualized, and the specific phrases used during sexual activity can vary greatly depending on the people involved and their personal preferences.

But first;

Where did it all start?

- The use of dirty talk, or sexually explicit language during sexual activity, has been present throughout human history, although the ways in which it is expressed and perceived may vary depending on cultural and societal norms.

Some researchers suggest that dirty talk may have evolved as a way of enhancing sexual pleasure and facilitating communication during sexual encounters. It can also serve as a way to build intimacy and strengthen emotional bonds between partners.

Historically, erotic literature and art have often included explicit language and imagery, which may have influenced the use of dirty talk in sexual contexts. However, the cultural acceptability of dirty talk has varied throughout history and across different societies.

Today, dirty talk is a common and accepted part of many people's sexual experiences. However, it's important to remember that communication and consent are key in any sexual activity, including using dirty talk. It's important to ensure that all parties involved are comfortable and consenting to use explicit language and that boundaries are respected.

How to Dirty Talk? 

Here are some ideas. For some, it may seem basic, but it's a start.

1. Expressions of desire: Phrases that express how much one desires their partner, such as "I want you so badly" or "I can't get enough of you."

2. Compliments: Telling your partner how attractive or sexy they are can be a turn-on, such as "You look so hot right now" or "I love the way you move."

3. Instructions and requests: Suggest what you want your partner to do, such as "Touch me there" or "Do it harder."

4. Narration: Describing what you or your partner is doing or how it feels can add to the eroticism, such as "I love the way you're touching me" or "I feel so good inside you."

5. Use of vulgar or taboo language: Some people find the use of vulgar or taboo language to be highly arousing, such as "Fuck me harder" or "I want to taste you."

Remember, communication and consent are key in any sexual activity, including dirty talk. It's important to ensure that all parties involved are comfortable and consent to use explicit language and to respect each other's boundaries.